Let's say you're new to Led Zeppelin but you're curious to appreciate their music. However, you've also been warned that starting by listening to their staple radio hits is about as tasteful as a bucket of piss.
Yeah, yeah, "Whole Lotta Love," "Heartbreaker," "Ramble On," "Rock n Roll," and the song that shall not be named are all fantastic. But come on, have a little sense of adventure. Your integrity is at stake here.
I have the perfect prescription for you. Go get a copy of Led Zeppelin I, vinyl very strongly recommended. Drop that needle down on the last track. Make sure you don't have any plans for at least the next nine minutes. Probably just block off an hour for what's coming.
A smooth, blues bass line will begin, with a hip, jaunty swing cymbal accompanying. You will immediately become aware of its boggling catchiness. If you screwed up and made plans for the next 20 or so seconds, they will be ruined now due to not being able to pull away from the music playing. Relationships could be at stake, and you will not care. The guitar hasn't even entered yet.
At first, you may not notice you are hearing a guitar. That psychedelic wahing noise salad that pops in over the drums and bass, that is a guitar being played with a violin bow, a trademark technique of Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page. It's okay, you're allowed to make any sounds of pleasure that come naturally to you.
But now it'll become unmistakable that you're hearing a guitar, as it will now be played traditionally. It will enter with just perfect, Page-ean minimal gain, exactly doubling the bass line. But before it can get going, John Bonham on drums will conjure its appearance with one of the best triplet drum introductions committed to magnetic tape. Now, as the bass and guitar play that blues pattern in unison, the drums play a full pattern and become a legitimate voice in your head urging you to give up all your ambitions and concentrate only on wagging your head in rhythmic fashion.
Congratulations: You are in the midst of a song that will make you love Led Zeppelin. The True Led Zeppelin.
Now, here is Robert Plant. He sings in this group. He specializes in blues scales, but as a true artist, he is not going to be bound by any orthodoxy and will demonstrate this by eventually unleashing sounds that go beyond tonality. But for now, just enjoy his perfectly charismatic work on these verses. Due to him, you almost think this song is going to be just a regular pop song with verses and choruses and a quick ending.
You may notice there actually are no choruses in the song. This could leave you feeling uneasy. What selling point is there for a song if there is no chorus to flag it into your memory? Patience. Just let go.
Yes, that is a drum solo now.
You're right, it is pretty neat. He's a good drummer.
No, it's not ending anytime soon.
You see, they've just added two overdubbed guitar solos within the drum solo. You're forgetting about what you were doing before you started this song, aren't you? Perfectly normal.
I don't want to alarm you, but yes, this song will now build, add a bravura guitar harmony mid-build, then build intensely even more afterward.
Good thing you cancelled those plans. Because the song is not done. The instrumental portion is not even done.
And there it is, after that tremendous build - more instrumental. Jimmy Page went and grabbed his violin bow again. The rest of the band will just be at work growing musical stalactites within your dreams.
I'll be back for you shortly.
Okay, you made it. Here is a funky jam. You earned it. Man, this is my favorite part too. Listen to how all the instruments shift, adapt, and finally coalesce into fully realized groove. They all get in order just in time to leap into a raging resolution. That bass playing is magnificent isn't it? John Paul Jones is the bassist's name. He looks like a different person in every photo of him.
Okay, I'll just let you be now. The rest is all yours. Repeat as needed. You're going to be fine.