Before media players, we had compact discs. These items contained a single album apiece. An album, as a reminder, was a collection of songs by an artist representing a tonally unified conceptual mission or a specific chronological period of creative output. Well, these compact discs (CDs for short) weren't that much different than the vinyl records that preceded them, other than sound quality - and one other key detail: Unlike a record, you could not see the grooves of sound etched into a CD. That meant that, on the album's final track, if you included an unlisted "secret" recording after a period of silence, there is no way anyone could tell just by looking at the disc. Listeners would find this track simply by letting their CD play on some lazy Saturday afternoon, forgetting to immediately eject the disc after the completion of the final listed track, and abruptly hearing a personal little encore in their kitchen.
Not only are secret songs impossible now, but they are philosophically obsolete, as no musician would simply give away a track of music these days, when single track sales are the only thing that music is. You don't realize how old you're going to be until time starts passing.
In my opinion, the clear greatest secret song of the secret song era is "Diamond Bollocks" by Beck, stashed on his Mutations album.
Most secret songs were throwaway half-ideas, jokes, studio jams, or some other type of novelty. Beck's secret song was one of the greatest songs he's ever written. A 6-minute-long, multi-section epic composition. Hidden. On a concept album that sounds absolutely nothing like it. Mutations is an acoustic-based surreal folk album. "Diamond Bollocks" is an electric fuzz bombast attack.
Beck has sadly faded from many people's memories, but to those even who remember him, even who are endeared to him, it may be surprising to think of him as a hard rock musician. Folk musician, sure. Rapper, fine. Alternative dance and funk song maestro, of course. A producer of alien sounds and, how shall we say it? Obtainer of rare antiquities.
But he can also rock a place to the ground.
Here we have him, on his folk record, absolutely decimating things in his secret song. I won't go into extreme detail, but I do want to point out my favorite moment of the song.
The song has come through a jaunty harpsichord-based introduction and a pounding verse that crests with long singing harmonies. Then the song freaks out into a ridiculous thrashfest, the drumming stupidly out of control, a flailing bass, and a tremolo guitar having an over-oscillated breakdown. That part is great, and then the progression intensifies into its heaviest moment. It is a classic principle of heaviness: Two notes, large interval. Beck knows his heaviness. Note one is fuzzed-out guitar with a suddenly focused, driving drum part. Note two is a dastardly ugly interval down, and this should be the most savage part of the whole thing. But it only lasts for two beats.
Then (spoilers) the whole song jump-cuts to nothing but the sound of a bird chirping, for five eternal seconds.
All the fine heaviness he spent so much of his craft developing for that peak moment. And he flippantly destroys it with the most hilarious, inappropriate sample - the most appropriate. The bird is extinguished with a burst back into the driving heaviness at an even lower note, and you think maybe you're back on track. The music builds.
Then the build undercuts the conventions of builds, ending after only four short beats and rushing us unready into a goofy downbeat section featuring a harpsichord solo. Typical.
It's not enough to just know the conventions and obstruct them with weirdness. This song is fantastically cool-sounding. Everything that is conceptually challenging is, I think, also just great music.
Okay, and there is my other other favorite moment, the last sweet melody of the song and the words sung in that soft moment, repeating on irregular groupings of four beats: "Looking back on some dead world that looks so new."
Why did he hide this song? I guess if you're gonna use a bird sample, better do it right.
